Have you ever been in the presence of someone, or something, that leaves you speechless? Like you want to be so still so as not to disturb that moment? Any time I meet someone, I love watching them and how they interact with the world, like an observer - this is a moment self-indulgent reverie, but I do snap out of it. And just as easily, go into it from time to time. I can't help it, it just happens. Some would say I have a romantic view of the world, I feel and think with my HEART (at some point, though, I buried it and try to keep it hidden for... reasons) Perhaps the need to be pragmatic and to stop daydreaming about what I really want? Well, whatever the reason, that wall I spent years building got kicked pretty hard and is definitely crumbling, no matter how desperately I am trying to pick up that ruble and pile it up around me.
I love painting people I know in person because I am usually better able to put more feeling into the process. It is difficult to word it without sounding sappy but to generalise things, I love my friends, I love their foibles, their different personalities, their varying ways of viewing the world and perspectives. Some, I could chat with for hours and still find time was too short. I cherish every minute spent with them. Which means that when I paint them, I bring back past conversations, past feelings, how they make me feel when I am with them as well as their personalities. It also means that, when I paint people I don't know, I try to spend some time chatting with them until I have enough information to work with. Of course, in the end, it is my perception of them which I paint.
I am not sure what to call this type of love, when you start painting someone, anyone, and you fall in love with each feature - each curve, each turn of the lips, the expression in their eyes, and you gradually connect with the person, or subject matter. It's as if you are actually seeing it for the first time and with every brush stroke, your smile increases because it is such a happy moment just to... See.
My favourite subject are women combined with the symbolism of nature. I love it that people are complicated, but especially women. Defiant, tough, strong headed, stubborn, kind, gentle, women who know what they want, or women who don't know what they want because let's face it, life just loves to throw challenges and curve balls and it's either swim or sink. Sometimes we do get tired and succumb to that "just let me go" feeling and yet, here we are. The ones who refuse to sink.
This time, I painted a friend who, to me, embodies that defiance and faces the world head on with a smile on her face.